April 28, 2004

The Torchbearer 

This is for all those "Torchbearers" out there and you know who you are.

April 27, 2004

Circus at the Doctor's Office 

I tried to keep my unwanted appointment with the good Dr. today but found a circus instead of a cure. It went like this....

The group of 3 (1 very sick old lady in wheelchair, dumber daughter, and accompanying nurse) in front of me didn't understand after being told repeatedly that both Drs. have been called out for emergency surgery and would be 2 to 3 hours late. I'm thinking to myself, "reschedule and get the hell out of here."

Group of 3 - "But we have an appointment."

Receptionist - "You can wait or reschedule?"

Group of 3 - "But we have an appointment."

Receptionist - "Maybe you could go get something to eat and come back."

Group of 3 - "We ate before we came."

Receptionist and Group of 3 for the next 10 minutes - "Blah, blah, blah, blah, etc."

By now the line is through the office, out the door, and getting longer in the hall. Receptionist #2 yells over the ridiculous conversation in front of me, "Can I help you". I tell her I have an appointment and would like to reschedule. She asks what I'm there for and I tell her, "To get my prescriptions refilled and that presently, nothing is wrong." She asks what the Rxs are for and I hand her the empty bottles. At least that gets a smile.

Group of 3 - "But we have an appointment."

Receptionist #2 informs me that I can't get the Rxs refilled without an appointment and then starts a lecture on the importance of keeping appointments and on a regular basis. I tell her, "I don't need a lecture and would she please reschedule me." She asks me if I thought I knew more than the doctor and that's when the dam broke.

I told 'em all, "Yes, I know more about Crohn's disease than most doctors because I've been living with it 24/7 for the last 30 years. I don't want this appointment any more than I want another kidney stone, I just need the drugs that keep me from being in the emergency room four times a year. My only goal is to visit the emergency room less often than I have a birthday. Please reschedule me and I'll disappear."

Receptionist #2 - "How would this time next week work for you?"

Me - "That's fine, book it, only next week I'll bring cotton candy and popcorn for the circus."

Group of 3 - "But we have an appointment."

As I walked the gauntlet of waiting victims most wanted to either shake hands, give me a high five, or pat me on the back.

Me - "I shall return. See ya next week, same time same place."

April 25, 2004

Who Are These People? 

April 24, 2004

Master Lucas West Johnston 

April 20, 2004

Corndogs and Danish 

I'm in the same place and at the same conference as I was yesterday. I'll break out of this crystal dungeon tomorrow. Lunch was fun so I'll share an American tale.

My partner seated next to me at lunch was from Denmark. There in the middle of his gourmet chief-prepared meal was a fuckin' corndog. He ate around it at first and then attacked. He tried to fork it but it couldn't be penetrated, he tried his knife but it wouldn't yield to the dull blade. I explained the American method of picking it up buy the wooden stick, dipping it in the mustard, and chewing on the exposed end. He was hesitant at first, but after reassurance from others that I was offering good advise he gave it a whirl.

Feeling rather successful I forgot about my pal until a heard a horrible crunch. He looked at me and said, "you didn't tell be about the damn stick." Did he think the stick was super glued to the end? Corndogs and Danish just don't go together.

April 19, 2004

The Producers 

Posting from Stone Mountain, GA today. A day of meetings and conferences to be followed by more meetings and conferences. My rental car is parked not be started again until I head home on Wednesday.

I mustered enough courage to attend my first Broadway style play, The Producers, in downtown Atlanta last night. The Mel Brooks twisted humor mixed well the orchestra and all the dancing and singing. The Fox theater was spectacular and the ratio of pretty ladies to little black dresses was almost 1-to-1. It might even be said that I enjoyed every step, joke, poke, and pun. "Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay."

The biggest learning from the experience is that you should never cruise in downtown Atlanta after 11:00 pm with the top down on a convertible. It makes everyone uncomfortable. The street people were staring, the muggers were looking for an opening, and I almost pissed my pants. I wanted that thin sheet of canvas between us and them. Next time I'm riding in a tank.

April 17, 2004

Right Time and Right Place 

Have you ever felt that it was the right time and that you were in the right place? Well that's how I feel tonight. It's not that everything is perfect, it's just that it feels right. You know what I mean?

I leave for Stone Mountain, Georgia tomorrow for a three day conference. It's a TLM Users conference and all I have to do is show up, no presentation to do, and no pressure from above. I've been invited to see the Producers tomorrow night in Atlanta and I still have mixed emotions about that. I don't handle being a friend very well. Have you ever been a "friend"?

Today was "International First Day at the Pool Day". Nobody else got the message but I knew what day it was and spent my time sunning, reading, and soaking in the surroundings. Got my vitamin D and enough sun to know that I'd been there.

Listening to Pink Floyd now, so everything is kosher. Pink Floyd and Saturday night go together.

April 10, 2004

Easter Weekend 

I'm enjoying my 3 day weekend more than you'll ever know. I remember those Easter holidays that were filled with little girl dresses, chocolate bunnies, and Easter grass. It is a different time now. A time to move on, but I still think about days gone by. Thanks for the memories!

I think I'll get out tomorrow night. I travel so much that I tend to stay totally at home when I'm in Chattanooga, time for a change. It is Spring and I'm going to take advantage of it. The Lookouts are in town and I'll start with a ballgame outing. Hopefully I won't get kicked out by drinkin' beer in the "family section" again.

Happy Easter to all. Enjoy the holiday and remember the good times.

April 07, 2004

Door Mats 

Who left the leopard skin footprint-shaped door mat on my patio doorstep? Thanks for the gift, its something I probably won't have bought for myself.

There must be a message there somewhere. Am I a door mat? Does someone want to leave their footprint on me? Do I need leopard skin in my life? No leopard skin for me.... except for those silk boxers I wear when I'm expecting someone to quip, "you're not fartin' through silk". But that's another story we'll get into later.

Thanks for the door mat, I think I'll go wipe my...... feet on it right now.

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